when will it end?

Anything I can do to procrastinate, including eating, is higher on my priority list these days. I never studying psychiatry was going to be this painful...i mean....really f'n painful!

I thought I was going to be good at every field of medicine, guess I was wrong...lame post, this is more for my own sanity.

Schizo!?!

Apparently that's NOT PC...I've been on Psychiatry for an excruciating 6 weeks now and JUST TODAY did I learn that the term Schizo was inappropriate.
I guess I'm out of touch with the psych lingo (although I think I have my street drug terminology down ;)...

So I decided to name our quiz team "The Schizo's" and I had some nasty looks from both my senior resident and my attending....smooth Shabby, real smooth...

2 more weeks before I'm relieved of my "pre-hell sentence"...

The Human Psyche...

is altered by COMMUNICATION. No disrespect to the numerous scientist who strive to find the best treatment medication or therapy that will help those with severe depression and suicidality, but from my novice experience as a psychiatrist, I find the best therapy is TALK.

I'm not denying the benefit of anti-depressants and the incredible success we've had with these wonderful Selective-Serotonin-Reuptake-Inhibitors (SSRIs) but bottom line...

When someone is suicidal the only thing that will remove them from that state of mind is the art of communication

Being able to reach into your patient, tell him what he has to live for and explain him the reason he feels there is nothing to live for is transient versus the life he chooses to end is permanent is the technique I've chosen to deter people from their current goals.

No one can argue against the power of persuasion...it's how we live our lives on a day to day basis. We convince ouselves to do the things we do and we convince others to do the things we want them to do...and after awhile, we all become experts at it.

In the last week, I've had the priviledge of convincing 3 inmates to reconsider their suicidal ideations and consider the other aspects of life that are so easily forgotten when one gets to that state of mind. It's amazing to me to see the impact one can have just by listening and then reassuring them of the positives.

I think a more interesting question for a wonderful discussion on my couch and a couple glasses of wine would be...

How is that the psyche is SO powerful that it can take over the brain's
natural, innate desire to survive...think of Darwin's principles...Then I raise
you another question....is suicide the brain's attempt to undergo mass
apoptosis? A cell goes bad...you're body kills it. The brain goes bad...does
your body think to kill it?

MMSE irony part Deux

Again, this mini-mental status exam continues to baffle me. We ask our patients a round of questions, quite basic but somehow complex enough to determine a person's mental capacity and capability. I had a complaint about this exam earlier, and now being on the wards, I have yet another one.

What day of the week is it? Whats the date? What time is it?

At this point, I can't even answer these questions...everyday seems like the other day. Friday's are no longer something to look forward to and Sunday's don't have that same mellow, calm feel to them. We are as disoriented as our patients are.

But am I really complaining about my lost, disoriented state? not really. I love the idea of having something and somewhere to belong to. The hospital sad to say, has turned into a home. My little shack across the street is a place to crash, but I do love the fact that I can walk across the street and be at my escape, the hospital wards. If you ever need to get your mind off your real life, just step into the hospital...its a great distraction. It's a lot easier solving other people's problems than your own....trust me.

Mr. B

He came in a jolly ole' man with a little trouble breathing,
His personality yet still gleaming.
A delightful man one could see,
hence why I cared so compassionately.

A mystery to us all as we worked so diligently,
one test, two test, getting them done so frequently.
What would be the outcome? nobody knew.
Until the day came where like a bird he flew.

Mr. B was an incredible man.
As he lay there in peace, I held his hand.
He was my first, and I know not my last,
It's just amazing to me how he went so fast.

Forever in time I will remember you.
You were a great teacher and a reminder as to why I'm here and what I'm trying to accomplish.
Thank you for all that you have taught me, and all that you've given me.
I hope that we can all learn from you to only become better at what we strive to do.

May you rest in peace...

(i know the poem is a bit 2nd grade-ish but thats the farthest i got in my poetry skills...its cool, laugh it up)

FIRED!?!

I'm sorry....what?

Uh-huh, got fired from the job yesterday....who would have thought that you can fire your doctor? Well, it happens.

I had a patient who had major attitude problems, was busy bossing all the nurses around, and had a serious disease that had lots of complications. She was seen by an additional team of doctors that lets just say...kinda screwed things up. So, in turn, this woman wants to sue Kaiser and everyone involved in her case. She demands imaging that is not neccessary and won't leave until it happens. My attending tries to explain to her that he's not doing it and this just pushed her over the edge. Sooooo, she basically fired us.

Now, let me add a little addendum here: She was into me...and when I say "into me," I mean into me! She was gay, and I think was really diggin my style. She told me that I was great and that I listened to my patients and that I should continue being who I am...but then again, I'm the only one that has to put up with her "unkind words" (being at the bottom of the totem pole, see Lesson #1: Know your rank)

In the end, she did my whole team a favor. Nobody could stand her anyway! One less patient to round on in the am....tight.

The Art of Homonyms

For those of you who need to be reminded, a HOMONYM is a word that sounds the same, is spelled the same but can have different meanings:

The irony in the word MEAN:

1. to bring, cause, or produce as a result
2. to intend for a particular purpose, destination
3. to intend to express or indicate
4. to have the value of; assume the importance of
5. to have (certain intentions) toward a person
6. offensive, selfish, or unaccommodating; nasty; malicious
7. troublesome or vicious; bad-tempered
8. unimposing or shabby

Well what do you know? There I am, straight out of www.Dictionary.com

I AM THE DEFINITION OF MEAN

enough said...

Lesson #1: Know your Rank

Straight up, if I don't learn a damn thing about medicine while I'm on the wards, one thing for sure I will never forget is KNOWING MY RANK. The hospital is not a friendly place as a pesky little med student. You are pretty much as worthless as the gum on the floor that gets stuck to the bottom of your shoe and pisses you off for about five minutes while you try and snag it off and then curses you as it makes every step from then onward a nuisance.

Ya, that's me right now. I stutter in the face of an attending out of pure fear which causes my mind to draw a complete blank and say things I would never imagine myself saying. And frankly, its a one shot deal. Once you look stupid, theres really no going back from stupid, you're just plain old stupid from there on out.

But give me time and I'm bout to break the underground ranking system. For now, I'm a stellar suctioner and boy do I love scutwork! Hey, you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

O, by the way, my new career choice: Surgery...any kind of it!

Scores, Smores...

Who gives a f***! Not ecstatic about them, but I'll survive...I think.
Since when does a test score bring me down....NEVER!

I've lost my game

Prime example: In the OR with a rather attractive doctor and we are operating on a tubal ligation. The conversation of sports and football comes into play, so I chime in and add to the mashismo conversation.

doc: "you're into sports?"

me: "yup, I love football"

doc: "wow! and you like sports? where were you when I was looking for a wife?"

me: "uh....in the 5th grade..."

stupid shabby! stupid! stupid!

Not only did he not find my joke funny, he didn't even crack a pitty smile either. It was utter silence in the OR and I could have cut my throat with the scalpel at that point. Here's my moment to increase my edge with the doctor, however unethical it might be, and what do I do....I flat out diss him in front of everyone else in the OR!

Diagnosis: no game....not even pretend game...

The Land of Vag...

...isnt as scary as I was expecting it to be. I must admit I've somehow grown to absolutely love the field of OB/GYN. So far it's consisted of delivering babies and performing C-sections...and I'm loving every minute of it! The deliveries are intense, and the best part about it is the woman is completely free of all her pain once the baby is out and everyone is happy...for the most part.

I have a strong passion for the operating room which I was scared was going to happen. I enjoy the procedures, and everytime I get to touch an instrument I get a rush to the head....its a bad sign though, life as a surgeon is not pretty. But I'm not going to make any hasty decisions. I'll take one rotation at a time and weigh the pros/cons and then decide in the end. One thing I do know, I dread the slow days. If things are slow and I'm not doing something at any given time, I am bored out of my mind and I get groggy....so that's definitely something to consider.

Starting my very first day at the County Hospital in Stockton, I helped deliver 5 babies. It's an incredible experience and a technique that I think I now have down solid. I pretty much deliver them on my own now and it makes me feel like I'm a doctor already. The midwives rock my world! They are great teachers and really know what they are doing...so word to the wise, have a midwife deliver your baby...they know their shit!

As for the operations, I advise you to avoid C-sections when possible. We literally get in there and then pull your shit apart...not cute. But for me, being a 1st assist, which I have done multiple times now, is awesome! I get to retract, suction, tie knots, and today I actually cut with a scalpel! I suck at the knot tying but I'm getting there, and without the help of Dr. Bass, Christine Sullivan, and really all the docs and midwives there, I would never have gotten the experience I just got as a young 3rd year med student.

Will the Land of the Vag be my ultimate destiny? who knows....but its now on my top 5 list...only time will tell.

o ya, the babies are cute too :)

Right about now..

That's how I feel...T-22 hours...

The Home Stretch...

This is it...5 days left til the end of this nightmare! Its time to put the game face and thinking cap on....its GAME TIME! I'm going to slam this baby out the ball park...time to kick some ass!

By Friday 6pm, I can officially call myself a MS III!

G-8 Approves Aid for Africa

The G-8 has been meeting this week in Germany to discuss increasing international aid in Africa. I am pleased to hear that $60 Billion has been approved to be distributed throughout countries in Africa to help fight against AIDS, malaria, and TB.

Not to be a Debby Downer about things, this is great and all, but it doesnt take away the fact that we WASTED BILLIONS of dollars on the unnecessary Iraq war to just know discover that maybe our money can be put to better use.

It's great that many major retailers are raising awareness of the cause and pushing people to donate, but really I think we need to dip into George Bush's personal account to help cover the cost of the lives that have been lost due to his irresponsible decision making as president. Not only could we have saved lives by not going to war but we could have also used that money for prophylactic treatment and health care in Africa.

Also mind you, one major topic of discussion at the G-8: Iran!

Makes me think that perhaps the Africa thing was just a cover to get this group together to really discuss the US's issues with Iran....ironic how Bush was too sick to meet with all the African nationals one morning but definitely made the talk about Iran....interesting.

I miss my good eats

Indeed, the trip was complete. I saw as many friends as I could in a few hours and most definitely got some you know what...the Pink!

Best fruit combo: rasberry, mango, blueberry

I got two...shocking! Tried the DL mochi...not crazy about it.

I also had to hit up my favorite breakfast spot: The Griddle....if you havent been there, you need to go right now. Try the strawberries and cream waffles, I know the pancakes are off the hook, but them waffles boy....mmm mmm mmm.

I must say the only things I miss about LA: the BEACH and the FOOD!

The Bogaardt Wedding

He did it...He tied the knot!
The first one out of us expected to be married and indeed the first one to have the balls to do it! John found himself a pot of gold with Mrs. Shannon Bogaardt...she's perfect for him!
Wedding was intimate and beautiful...Dana point view of the ocean for both ceremony and reception...Chart House dining...the best coconut shrimp of my life!

Glad to see young people so in love...ha.

So Close...Yet so far!

I'm over in the OC for my boy's wedding (first friend to get married...gotta be a part of it) and all I can think about is how close I am to a Pinkberry! So sad, yet SO TRUE!

I can just imagine the yummy deliciousness on the taste buds of my tongue and I'm drooling. Hangin out with the homies I haven't seen in a couple of years is cool and all, but what would make this trip complete...is a pit stop at the Pink! I just spent two hours convincing some friends that they need to commute over to their nearest Pinkberry and taste the CRACK for themselves....(tried the local shit, and it aint shit!)

My master plan: convince the homies to go out in LA after the wedding and then somehow manage to be at a spot right next door to yours truly...AND PATAU! I get my fix.

P.S. The OC is pretty fucking ridiculous...the airport especially.

P.P.S. Studying still sucks...

Don't Hate...

While all the other 2nd year suckers are sitting at home cooped up in a hot house studying franctically for the board exam...I'm chillin, studying with this as my view.

It's a wave pool with really cute life guards...I'm studying...sure.

The downfall: virgin pina colada's SUCK!

Ok so maybe the weather isn't lousy, it just sucks that I can't be outside to enjoy it.
I'm not really commuting anywhere these days since gas costs me my financial aid check.
Don't need a boyfriend or a vibrator.
So basically just working too hard...

Free Willy...out my backyard!

There's a humpback whale and her calf down the street...Went to go check her out, pretty awesome. She's in the Sacramento river, got lost somehow...who needs to go on an Alaskan cruise or to SeaWorld to see whales when I got two wild ones in my very own river.

She's a beaut...but I want her and her baby to find their way home...its a dirty river.

Boards before Wards

Unfortunately before all the excitement of seeing patients...I gotta get through this damn Board Exam. This summer is going to be miserable and will truly be the worst one yet...cuz I'll be stuck indoors with 8-12 hour days of the same monotonous studying for a single exam that will pretty much determine the rest of my life...joy!

I wish it didn't matter how great we did on this test, but it does...so I gotta buckle down, distractions aside, and get 'er done!

I'll be MIA til the god-awful day of June 18th...we'll see if I survive...

Coffee Shop Junkie

I'm the definition of a coffee shop junkie. I pretty much post myself in a joint at about 9am and don't leave until my stomach begins to curl...On top of that, I find a quick spot to grab some food, and head right over to the next joint. I try to switch it up so that the owners dont think I'm homeless. But the truth is, if they would let me crash there, I would. I don't know what it is, but thats the only thing that really does it for me...the great smell of roasted coffee, random people doing random things, and an occasional eye candy (dont get that at home).

Am I addicted? Most definitely. Don't fuck with my eye opener or you'll hear it! I'm on my 3rd cup of the day contemplating an espresso around 9pm...allowed during finals week...

Latest spots:

Sargent's House of Coffee (off Alhambra)

The Naked Lounge (Q & 15th)

When to discuss STATUS

So I think it's safe to assume that when a guy approaches me in a Trader Joes, starts talking to me, walks me to my car, offers to take me out to dinner...that his STATUS is SINGLE.

You would think it's safe to make that assumption? Guess again!

Went out on a date with homedude to a cute hole-in-the-wall papousa place in Sac, took a little walk along the American River and called it an evening (date ended by 7:30pm). And yes, he kissed me, emphasis on the HE kissed ME.

Time to set up the next date: Regardless of the fact that we changed plans 4x, it was always weird that he could only hang out during the day. Random excuses, but believable ones. Date numero dos was supposed to be at a shooting range...yeah, kinda scary, i know. Don't know what I was thinking, but I consented and thought this would be an interesting experience (gave all his info to my friends in case I didn't come back in one piece).

Saturday morning all prepped and ready for the big "Daytime Date": At about 20 minutes prior to his arrival, he calls me to tell me that he had something personal to discuss with me.

So we never got a chance to discuss our status' so I wanted to be honest
with you and tell you that I'm kinda in a 2 year relationship.
We've been trying to figure things out, and well I would just feel awful if I
took you out on a date and had to lie to her. So what's your status?

WTF????? In my head I'm going, did you not ALREADY take me on a date AND kiss me! Now you want to tell me this? What do you mean what's my status?

Uh...usually when a guy asks me out and I go on a date with him and
stuff, I'm probably single...

He was sketch if you ask me, everything about him was kinda suspicious...and for good reason! Homedude did not realize who he was dealing with! The story only gets better as he tried to stumble his way through his explanation, the best part was that he lived with her...hence the lack of ability to hang out at night!

Still want to hang out?

Obviously he didn't give a rats ass about his girl and definitely thought he was smoother than he really was.

Moral of the story: If dude can't hang on a Saturday night then he's fishy! And now what? I have to ask every dude I go out with whether he's single/in a relationship/married or whatever...

I feel really bad for his girlfriend or probably wife that he is probably in a stable relationship with...MEN ARE GROSS!

In Memory of Allie Greene

Unfortunately, I am saddened to say that we lost another member of the UCD medicine family. Allie was a fourth year student on her way to a residency in Emergency Medicine. She was an awesome person for the breif time I knew her. She was a mentor for many of us pursuing EM. One thought I remember having about Allie the last time I spoke to her was that now I was going to have someone in the ED that I could feel comfortable wtih. I wouldn't have to be so intimidated in going in there cuz I knew she'd help me out and make me feel more comfortable, she was that kind of girl. She was vibrant, smart, enthusiastic, and was going to make a fine doctor. Thanks Allie for the inspiration...

Practice Makes Perfect

Can't decide if I want to rule out Surgery or not so I decided to see if I have any skills by sewing up some PIGS FEET! Thats right...we do our practice suturing on nasty little four toed pig's feet. But after a semester of anatomy, nothing is really that gross anymore.

But I must say, that I had a little nac for it. I did pretty well, following instructions that is. Suturing and tying knots is just about practice, after you do it a couple hundred times, you learn the skill that's necessary. I wasn't a crazy video gamer when I was a kid and I don't know how to sew a button on my shirt, but I can learn and I can learn quick!

This gives me hope and keeps surgery up in the running...think I have the skills? we'll see ;)

UCD Hospital...Here I Come!

We entered the lottery and tried our best to determine the fate of our 3rd year in medical school which is equivalent to finally getting the opportunity to be the bottom of the totem pole...at least we're on the totem pole...excited, nervous, nauseous....

Many say that the order you do your rotations really doesn't affect your performance or your experience...but...I beg to differ...or at least I like the drama that led to the lottery.

I got lucky number 69...ironic, I must say! But either way, it definitely was lucky...

My order (all my 1st picks):

1. OB/GYN- get over my fear of the Vag! Deliver some babies...cry a little.
2. Internal Medicine- This is intense, it's what I like, let's just hope I survive!
3. Psychiatry- I want to take Thanksgiving weekend off...and take a break after the nightmare of IM
4. Surgery- DunDunDun!!! Taking this rotation with the hardcore surgeons...gotta know if I can hang if you know what I'm sayin...I'm going to die!
5. Pediatrics- End the roughness with a cheerful rotation playing with kids :)
6. Primary Care - This is deferred into my fourth year...Gotta take care of business before I hang out at the Doc's office.

Date when these unfortunate patients will start receiving care from me: July 2nd 2007

Another Briliant Proverb

Like water off a duck's back...

why not off a shark's stomach? a fish's scales? or a flamingo's beak?

I'm struggling dude...this has been my biggest struggle in med school...these things just dont make any sense! Since when is a duck's back smooth enough to create a proverb from it?

Mental Status Exam

In psychiatry, we learn to perform a Mental Status Exam on patients. It's our way of assessing a patient's cognitive level. It's pretty basic information that you would think anyone could really answer unless you had something really serious going on..

What day is it? What time? Where are you right now?

It even pushes you to your outer limits, well at least mine, by making you count backwards from 100 by 7s...try it, its tough...

Now all of that is really doable and all until we get to the abstract thinking...Now, how do you test this ability you ask? You ask the patient to interpret a proverb...Doesn't sound difficult but it definitely raised my eyebrow about what these proverbs really mean...

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones

Interpretation by most people: You should be careful in sticky,
fragile situations...but ultimately having just a reflection on
oneself...
The Real Interpretation: We shouldn't complain about others if you are as
bad as they are...

This sounds more like the proverb:

The Kettle shouldn't call the Pot black

WTF? That's what I'm talking about! If we don't really comprehend these proverbs accurately, we meaning those who are undiagnosed and consider themselves sane, we definitely shouldn't be asking those who are losing it to really pull an explanation of the proverb when most of us dont understand it anyway...get my drift...

Sorry but found this Japanese proverb and would like to end on this note:

Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your
mother-in-law

Those japanese know what they are talking about ;)

The Jokes on Me...

Every year for April fool's day, if I have a man of some sort, I pretend to break up with him. I know it sounds stupid and not so funny at times, but trust me...its funny!

It all started back in the 8th grade when I did it to my boyfriend then of 2 mos., not that that meant anything really...but to see his face in ultimate shock and confusion was quite entertaining...he was Mr. Tough Guy on campus and never really showed any emotion, but that day after school at the end of the hallway where I would "say" goodbye to him everyday, he broke...is that mean? no its funny.

So, this year, the joke's on me...I have no dude to play the joke on...but if you're a dude, I'm breaking up with you!

In Memory of Damon Fawcett

I'm sadden to say that we lost a member of the first year class at UCD. Damon was an awesome guy, always uplifting, always there to help me out, and just plain funny. I didn't get a chance to get to know him as well as his classmates did, but I do know that I wish I was able to say goodbye. I don't know how he passed, I just hope that he didn't suffer. He will be greatly missed and he will be remembered at the School of Medicine with a tree planted in his name. I grieve for his wife and his close friends...

Fro-Yo with Crack Sprinkles

Time out: before you read this...check out the website...they have a theme song for this shit!!!

http://www.pinkberry.com/

I was down in LA this last weekend for a whoping 30 hours and had to have the infamous Pinkberry frozen yogurt that everyone is raving about. Of course, we get there and there's a line of 20 little asian teenie bopers hanging out at the local Fro-Yo joint...whatever...I get up to the counter, and first off, I'm appauled at the cost of this damn craze...$5 for a damn frozen yogurt?!?!

That fruit better be fresh off the farm and you better not count them
berries!

Whatever...I order my shit, and I'm pretty stoked...get the plain with not Pinkberry (a letdown) but strawberry, blackberry, and raspberry...I was in a fruity mood...and that combo just sounds incredible.

The part that got me a little hostile was the bitch starting counting my shit....she gave me exactly 5 blackberries, 7 raspberries, and maybe 2 strawberries that were all diced up so you couldn't even tell the difference...They charge you enough, no need to be stingy with that shit! no offense, but whatever...

I take one look at my pearly white cream with surrounding vibrant colors of fresh, juicy fruit and my Food-Os began creeping up on me. I got into the car and nose-dived right into that baby...and let me tell you, they put some mother fucking crack in that shit! I had my Food-Os the whole time I was devouring it...I can't even explain the level of surprise and satisfaction...

I'm sitting here at home now pheening that incredible feeling from the Fro-Yo...I'm telling you, I don't pheen desserts, but when that piece is infused with crack, I'm a crave it again and again and again...

Polo-Mahi

That shit is off the hook! I can't get enough of it and I'm about to get 13 days of it. I mean...diet-shmiet...screw that! I'm endulging in this once a year Persian New Year celebration that entails getting some "Eidy" (a.k.a. some dough) and some bomb ass "Sabzi Polo-Mahi."

Don't be jelly....

Double speed

Thanks to my good buddy Ishizzle, I just recently discovered the speed button on windows media player which allows you to double the speed of the lecture, therefore, decreasing the lecture time in half.

Its brilliant! Dont expect me in class in the future...


What would I do with all that spare time:

1) Check myspace another 13x
2) Go back and learn world history for the first time
3) Watch movies that everyone has already seen just so I can understand references to old movies
4) Write a letter to all the corporations I've threatened to write letters to due to bad customer service
5) Call Verizon customer service and not mind being on hold for 35 minutes
6) Read the 1200 forwarded emails I've ignored
7) Unpack my suitcase from my trip in December
8) Consider unpacking the last two boxes from my move last June
9) Pull out my To-Do list from 2005 and work on it
10) Call my family....nah!

Not so funny...

last time i checked...i wasnt writing this blog to make LEZSHAIs laugh...if you want to read something funny...you should ask her about her blog...

Got a question?

There's a time and place for every question. If you are sitting in a room of 93 figidity, hungry, and extremely annoyed med students, chances are its not the right time to ask a question. It's already 12:07pm and class was supposed to get out at ten till, and this doc has no concept of time, is being paged, yet still continues to ramble about the advancements being made in his field of medicine. Dude...I know a CT scan and MRI works, you need to order them every now and then, but really, I don't need a history on its development during my lunch hour. I've been sitting in the same hard ass chair for the last four hours, and I really could give a rat's ass about this shit right now.

...then theres always someone who decides to pose a question...

"That's nice for adults, but how do we treat this for children?"

I mean really....who gives a flying *uck! Are you the patient's doctor yet? Nope. You're a second year student still learning what the hell PERRLA stands for...that shit is irrelevant...stop trying to be a pseudo-genious and act like you understood that entire lecture and now that's the only question you're left with...

Annoying you say...most definitely...who does this shit?...that would be me :)

NoisePop 2007

NoisePop Festival this weekend in SF. Great show at the Mezzanine with The Gray Kid and Ghostland. Steve's acoustic show rocked but I'm not going to add to his ego ;)

Quotes from this weekend:

"If one more person looks at you funny, I'm bout to kick some ass!!!"

"Hey Steve, you should dance like her!"

"Mr. Ice Cream Man you made my night, can I donate to your cause..."

"How do you know I'm persian...are you from LA?"

"Losing your baggage is good for you....huh?...I dont get it" (3 mins later...."oh")

"I like to donate my fries to homeless people..."

"Donate...is that the right word for that?"

Who said there's only Football in Texas?

Just wanted to put it out there that 3 of the top 5 Western conference teams are from Texas, Dallas, San Antonio, and Houston. I'm proud of my Rockets for surpassing the Lakers in current standings...and will most definitely be rooting for them throughout the playoffs, although I wouldn't mind to see any of the fabulous Texas teams take the championship this year.

sorry Kobe...not this year!

(just a minor disclaimer...not really proud to be a Texan these days, but I gotta support my boys)

The joys of Snow...

I love the snow and I find it absolutely beautiful and all...but after sitting in a 12 hour drive home from Tahoe (normally 2 hours), I have come to appreciate not living in a snowy city! I give props to my girls in the NYC cuz I know I couldn't do it.

I really wish I was still there though... I would love to have a taste of that fresh powder riding down the mountain especially after bearing 12 hours of painful road games, like the "name game," or having to go to the bathroom and holding it for 3 hours of the ride, yeah, that was alot of fun....

All-Star Survival Weekend 2007

I went to the oh-so-famous NBA All-Star Weekend this year in Las Vegas thinking that it was going to be an awesome weekend partying with the big names in basketball but instead turned out to be survival of the fittest. Let me just give you the facts: 5 separate shootings, one official death but I'm sure there were more, and over 250 arrests over the course of the weekend. This is what happens I guess when you bring the East and the West together in the City of Lights.

Sorry, but there was no real reason to be at this event. The game itself is always a blowout, this year the West taking the crown, and really it's a show-off shoot-out. There is hardly any defense that is played since players avoid getting themselves injured in a non-advancing game that has no bearing on where they stand in the playoffs, although, I find it ironic that Wade gets severely injured the following game. It's really their time to practice their dunks and their alley-hoops which gets painfully boring after some time. This also proves my point that basketball is a game of defense, but we'll leave that for another discussion.

So basically, my weekend consisted of staying as far away from the strip as possible and engaging in some fine dining, cuz that's what I do... I ate at awesome restaurants off the strip, Hannah's sushi was off the hook, and a real chill place to hang out with great food is FireFly Tapas Bar. I did go to Trevi in the Ceasar's Forum, which I must say was quite a disappointment. I could have made the same dish I overpaid for...should've gone to Spago's instead...

Overall, had a great weekend since I came out of it alive, and glad to have hung out with pops and V while I was at it.

Just to Add some Points for Mr. Obama

Pissy McPisser

Ya this beautiful baby girl is not so cute anymore!!!

She's peeing all over the place and I can't yell at her cuz her mommy is gone and she's scared of the rain...

Makes me sad looking at her...she's lonely....where's mommy?

Whom to choose?

Well...lets think about it...A fresh, young guy who has yet to be corrupted by the evils of Washington or a chick who stayed with her husband who cheated on her in order to gain political pull....hmmmm? not so tough anymore...I thought it would be, but putting aside the fact that we need women in higher places (we also need them to be surgeons too...), Obama looks like a better candidate right now. Granted, this is a very naive reflection of the race, but as the way things look on the surface, I'm rooting for the brotha...you all know my weakness for those :0)

But seriously, I think he's an all around great candidate. No real corruption, probably not as many under-the-table ties as Hillary does, and he's from Kenya! I like that about him. He's cultural. The dude grew up in Hawaii and Indonesia, worked a low paying salary and has brought himself up. That's a man who knows what it's like to struggle, to go through obstacles and can really see things from a broader perspective. I see Obama focusing on the issues of America versus the issues of the world.

Again, this is the day after he's announced his running for the Democratic Party....who knows whats going to come out from now until the Democratic National Convention...

Let's not forget that Hillary Clinton is a powerful woman. She's good. She kind of reminds me of me, she's a little weaker than myself in terms of handling her man, but then again I cry at the end of every Grey's episode...She can and will do a lot for our country, there's no doubt in my mind.

Maybe its Obama's looks that's got me going...

I'll do some reading on Hillary and we'll see if my opinions change, but for now...the worldly, underprivileged Kenyan is my front runner...

Either way...the Democrats will take the White House in 2008!

My new boyfriend in Juvi

So yesterday I spent the afternoon at Juvi. Why was I there you ask? We had a choice of where to do a site visit, and I jumped at the opportunity of thinking I would miraculously be able to save a kid or maybe even change a kid from a young criminal to someone with hopes of a decent future...Instead, I found a new boyfriend. I spent the entire hour and a half sitting in a 3x3 cell with a 17 year old boy who incessantly attempted to get "my digits" or try to "hook up once he got out." I played the cool card as long as I could, you know the laughing, like "oh your funny" and "I'm too old for you" type of approach, but he obviously didn't get the picture. I didn't want to slam the kid...but damn homie, get real. Not even the fact that he was in Juvi...cuz you all know my history...this experience definitely brought back some childhood memories, I'm not gonna lie, but the kid really thought he had me. He was funny though...my favorite line had to be, "but you can tutor me though...cuz when you talk, i listen." Thats what I'm talking about...I need to hear that shit more often!

Regardless, the kid was classic, but definitely, I'm proud to say that I instilled some hope in his eyes. I asked him what he wanted to do with his life and he responded with construction or plumbing, and then proceeded to say, "well, i've never really thought of it much before cuz nobody really aksed me that question." Now that really ripped into me. How is this kid 17 and nobody has talked to him about his future. He has a rough life, but doesn't mean it has to continue that way. He just needs someone to give him some direction, cuz his father on parole and his mother who can't afford to feed her children, is not shedding any light on him. And I know I'm being me by thinking that intervention is all this kids needs, but honestly if it's never been attempted, how do you know it won't work? my point exactly...give the kid a chance.

We talked about college and football, and he genuinely wanted to go. Did I mention his 2 year old son...ya...so there was that talk too....but he was smart, every time I asked a personal question, he would spit one right back at me...."so you got a man?...what?...for real though, how does a fly girl like you not have a man?" I quickly told him thats the way I like it. I got some dap for that one..."I've never met a girl like you...damn, there needs to be more females like you, for real. That's how I know you are perfect for me." Guess what my response to that was?

"I'm perfect for every man"

Are you surprised? Of course not...

But other than that, I think I did alright...got nothing medically related accomplished, but whatever, gave a 17 year old boy the only interaction he's had with a girl in the last 18 months...thats bad...I shouldn't be saying that...but dont worry, although this might sound like I wasn't professional, I was, and at one point I did have to put my foot down with him and have him focus at the task at hand.

But seriously, I'm going to help this kid get his life together. I didn't give him my number or any form of contact, but I told him I'd write him and send him some info about schools...I'm not about to be the um-teenth person who has let this kid down...sorry, but thats not how I do....

Dinner at Biba

Biba knows her stuff...

(my dishes combined with other dishes I tried...we grubbed...)

Appetizer:

Delicious crabcakes that are lightly fried, not greasy, and the right amount of crab...this is usually how I judge a place
Animelle con Pancetta e Fungi: Sauteed sweetbreads with crisp pancetta and shiitake mushrooms in a Limoncello-wine-butter sauce...(sweetbreads: cow pancreas...rather de-lish)

First Course:
Shitake mushrooms and bacon in a white something sause on a bed of flat noodles...super yummy and super filling!

Tagliatelle Verdi con Pomodoro e Caprino
Housemade spinach tagliatelle in a light tomato-goat cheese sauce...(just like your traditional spaghetti, but quite spectacular)

Second Course:
Coniglio alla Cacciatora con Peperoni e Polenta
Slowly braised rabbit in an onion, pancetta, bell pepper, tomato and balsamic vinegar sauce, with roasted polenta...(rabbit tastes like chicken)

Ossobuco alla Milanese
Large, meaty veal shank braised with mixed vegetables, wine, broth and tomatoes, topped with gremolata and served with creamy, soft polenta...(melted in my mouth, recommend this to anyone)

Dessert:

Plum tart with vanilla gelato....off the heez!

Zuppa Inglese a Due Colori
Double chocolate trifle with Grand Marnier soaked pound cake and raspberry sauce...(a little too much raspberry but light, so nice...it would go good with a dessert wine)

On to my next endeavor....

Pet my Pony...

Um...so ya....I went to good ol' Joe's for some salty crab (hence the bib) and I was selected by my peers to where the funky hat and ride a pony around the restaurant.

But of course, being as intoxicated as I was, I chose to stop midway at a table of raunchy men and asked the dude on the end..."Pet my Pony!"

I waited until he pet my pony...and then I continued...

Spectacular night I must say...completely wasted :)

Emails sent from Nairobi

Tuesday December 19th, 2006

Hey everyone!

i am having a blast in nairobi. im enjoying myself at the conference and talking to students from kenya, uganda, rwanda, and tanzania. so im definitely learning a lot more than i could have ever asked for.
the conference ends tomorrow, but i will be giving everyone my contact info so i can keep in touch with students throughout.
i will be traveling to kisi, a small village outside of nairobi, on saturday.
i will be going with dr. onguti and the Heart team and we will be going to orphanages to deliver christmas gifts and do some medical work along with that.
i apologize for not making this email longer or writing more often, its just that the internet is really slow. i hope this even goes through
i just got the opportunity to go to a market place today and do some shopping which was nice. a lot of bargaining, just like the swap meet in san diego. but the people here are incredibly nice. and the students have been really welcoming...you'd be suprise all the misconceptions about the states they have.
no luck on the baggage just yet...i just hope that it arrives while im here...i pretty much have nothing as for all of my stuff was in the luggage. so its been interesting. yup, the luggage did not arrive with me nor has it come yet...let me just tell you, i never want to fly into london heathrow again!
ok, im working on a presentation for the students here about my experience in the US so i gotta rush...hope all is well

Asanti sana (thank you in swahili)

December 24th, 2006

Jambo!Hey everyone, just thought I'd stop by to say hello. (DAD, hope you had an awesomebday!)Before I left for the country, on the last night of the conference, I went out with themedical students and I had a blast. We partied till late, they really love to dance hereand their club was amazing. It was nicer than some Vegas clubs I've seen. Really noexageration! We danced to rock all night, from Green Day to Alanis Morisette, nothing Iwould have ever expected. I've made some pretty awesome friends here, one girl is likemy Kenyan twin! We would finish each other's sentences, thats how much we werealike...scary...but awesome!I was out of the city for the last few days. I went to a small village up in the TaetaHills where we delivered goats and school uniforms for 50 children. It was a prettyawesome experience I must say. The country is predominately Christian, and very devout. So the church is really the basis of their culture. So on this trip to the village,probably the most spectacular part was watching the women sing African songs in thechurch. It was beautiful! I desparately wanted a picture of that but my camera batterywas dead! I know, so I'm sort of limited on the pics, but Im working on getting themfrom everyone here so we can share. We arrived and got to work. Dr. Flynn didn'tacompany me on this trip so I was pretty much the doctor. We did a quick assessment ofeach child, height, weight, skin, and really whatever I could pick up on with the fewminutes I had with each child. There was a lot of ringworm and other fungal infections,but suprisingly the children in that village were pretty healthy, or at least on thesurface it appeared that way. So it was pretty incredible to be a doctor to thesechildren and I really did my best to see what I could do for them, but we were reallyrushed, 15 minutes with the doc would have been great for these children, but all theygot was about 1.5 minutes with a medical student!We had dinner that night with the pastor from the village and his wife and killed achicken for us for dinner but it was going to be served later in the evening butunfortunately we all passed out before we could enjoy it...i know...but we had it forbreakfast instead. We said our goodbyes after the church prayer that morning, and Icried! shocking! but it was really moving to see how much hope and faith these peoplehave. its incredible.The roads are rough, hardly paved, so to go 90 miles takes you 6 hours, kind of like thepace in rush hour traffic in LA. So the journey was long. We went to a safari lodge forone night which was really nice. A little too nice! It was like a Cancunresort...ridiculous! But it was great, I saw pretty much everything but a lion. We returned on Saturday evening after sitting in some crazy traffic! A two lane highwayturned into 7 lanes out into the fields as people were trying to get through. Scary atsome points but we made it back to the city in one piece. Tomorrow we hed out for Kisi. Its another remote village about 6 hours away. We will bethere until Friday. We've got a busy schedule. Mon- a women's prison and giving gifts to their children (im hoping to examine the womenhere)Tues- a 300-child orphanage all under the age of 12 (we are giving each child a toy)Wed- Kids for school project at 105-children orphanage (uniforms and goats) we will alsotry to visit two other orphanages on this dayThurs- Purity Project (talk to youth about HIV/sex/abstinence)Fri- drive back to Nairobi and depart for the states stopping at the miserable LondonHeathrowI will be arriving back on Dec. 30th...kinda sucks because I will be in Sac all by myselffor new year's so if anyone will be in Sac let me know...Dad, dont worry, Dr. Flynn hasthe arrangements for when we get back.Okay, basically what I will also be doing at these orphanages is assessing children. Weare going to do our best to screen for the kids who are really sick and target ourtreatment for them. There are just too many to go through them all, but Dr. Flynn and Iare going to try to do our best. There are also 3 other people here that are visiting,one is a nutrionist so she's trying to do nutrition assessment and her daughter is hereas well, 14 yrs old and really works well with the kids. There is also a RN so we shouldbe able to do good in the health screenings. They are all from NorCal too. Random...The H.E.A.R.T. Organization is real great, they do alot of different projects and theyreally reach out to different villages. The only drawback, and its not that big of adrawback, is that it is a Christian organization. So everything is really religioushere. But thats also how the Kenyans are, so it might be the only way to reach out tothem. A lot of you know how I am, so this part is kinda weird for me, but I'm taking itall in, and really learning from them, and mainly just being respectful.Ok, this will be my last chance to communicate with anyone, so Happy Holidays and I willtalk to you guys when I get back...-ShabsO ya, and I finally got my luggage yesterday, everything still in there, so that was nice.But I was really learning to live off of nothing which is how it should be out here andhow it will be in the country when we leave tomorrow.For the Kenya Project:While I've been doing the conference and the traveling, I've been trying my best to makecontacts so that we can get the Kenya Project rolling. I've got Nairobi pretty muchtaken care of, just need to work on the outside villages. Really transportation is theonly issue. You need a driver you can trust and one that will be with you the wholetime. That might be a pretty big cost. Otherwise, accomodations can be easily handled,well sort of. I'm buying stuff to sell at the auction...that is where most of my moneyis going. That I think will help pull in some funds...we'll see. I'm going to also tryand get the kids to make me drawings but I have to focus on the screenings so I don'tknow how to juggle it all, but I will try.Dr. Flynn has spent alot of time refining some details and I have a lot of new ideas aswell.O, and the Rwandans want to work with us as well...I met some Sudanese people today andthey want our help too...So lots of contacts which is exciting!